The Passive Voice Should Not Be Used

For clearer writing, use the active voice (most of the time)

(If you recognized the title as breaking its own rule—of course, it’s in the passive voice—then you don’t need this post)

Hello, Friends,
Sorry for the long hiatus. Falling off a bike, breaking a hip, and experiencing a total hip replacement when one is out of town can slow things down. Admittedly, my apology sounds pretty weak and passive, but that is not the passive voice. “My hip was broken;” now that is passive. So is “My hip replacement was performed by a topnotch surgeon.”

Here’s where I want to take this post: “What is the active voice?” “What is the passive voice?” “Why do we use the passive voice?” “When can we appropriately use the passive voice?”

What is the Active Voice? (Think: “WDW?”)
In normal conversation, we nearly always use the active voice. It is actually the way we think. It is straightforward and starts with the subject, which is the actor in the sentence. Next comes the verb and then the direct object. It directly answers the question: “Who did what, who does what, who will do what (or what did what, what does what, or what will do what)?”
(Just think, WDW?) Here are some examples of the active voice:
• John read the book.
• The instructions will provide the answer.
• I can understand each step.

What is the Passive Voice?
The passive voice gets at the story indirectly, and we often use it in written text without even realizing it, yet we rarely use it when we speak. You might say that using the passive voice rides the horse backwards: it does not directly answer “Who did what.” Rather, it starts with the object, the receiver of the action. And if it identifies the actor at all, it does so in a “by” phrase:
• The book was read (by John).
• An answer will be provided (by the instructions).
• Each step is understood (by me).
Sometimes, a passive voice sentence just ignores the actor:
• My bike was stolen (by___).
• The material was analyzed (by___).
• Your request was denied (by___).

What Are Key Problems with the Passive Voice?
1. It is wordier. Compare:
I read the book; The book was read by me.
2. By leaving out the actor, the passive voice can hide the facts:
Your car was bashed. The pie was eaten. The request was lost.
3. It makes instructions more difficult to process:
The material should be reviewed and then the test should be taken.
Review the material and then take the test.
Note that the second example uses the “instruction form,” where, although the sentence actually begins with the verb, the understood subject is actually you: (You) Review the material!

Why Do We Tend to Write in the Passive Voice?
Typically, folks use it only when they write, and then they just don't notice. It may actually sound more professional, and sometimes (see below) it is the better choice. Writers also use it to avoid using I, which many believe is inappropriate, particularly in business writing. In fact, readers respond more positively to personal pronouns, including I. Still, we can overdo the use of I. Here are some ways to manage the problem:
1..Don't use I to think aloud:
I just wanted to tell you that I think you did a great job. Instead, consider: You did a great job! or even, Great job!
2. Avoid starting sentences with I:
I have decided to honor your request, after considering it. Instead try this: After considering your request, I have decided to honor it.
3. Avoid casting your monthly report, etc., in the passive voice: During November, the analysis of materials was performed, the report was completed, and a new candidate was interviewed. (And where were you, Australia?) Of course, you don't want to over do it: I analyzed, . . . I completed, . . . I interviewed. . . . Then a list of active verbs is a healthy alternative:
During November, I accomplished the following:
• Analyzed . . .
• Completed . . .
• Interviewed . . .

When is the Passive Voice Appropriate?
Never say never! The passive voice has its place. The real issue is this: use it only intentionally, not by accident. Here are some acceptable and useful places to use the passive voice:
1. When nobody knows or cares who or what did it:
My briefcase was stolen.
2. To avoid unnecessary blaming:
The cap was left off the toothpaste.
3. To emphasize the receiver of the action:
The child was struck by the car.
4. To build to the high point:
The winning ticket was purchased by . . . a small boy.
5. To maintain a consistent point of view:
You have worked hard, you have performed well, and you will be rewarded.

I have collected a variety of interesting uses of the passive voice. (They have been collected by me.) Below is one from America West—a sign confronting passengers checking in:

It is required by the airline to present the original credit card used to purchase your electronic ticket upon check-in.

Ouch! There are so many ways to fix this sentence. Here is one:

When you check in, please present the credit card used to purchase your ticket.

Now, I hope you will be comfortable using your grammar checker, and when it yells at you, “Passive Voice!” I trust you will know what to do.

This post was approved by Neita!

Whoops! Neita approved this post!

But How Does It LOOK?

Hello, Readers,
Sorry, but I cannot make the heading colors match :-(


Make Your Document Look Inviting
I like the Japanese proverb, “We eat first with our eyes.” The fact is, we value presentation, whether with food or a document. Here are some tips for making a good impression—making the big picture inviting—before readers actually read a word. You will recognize some tips from earlier posts, but they also belong here to round out this list. Confession: You’ll note that in Blogspot, I can't do some of what I recommend below.

Tips for Paragraphs That Welcome the Reader
1. Write short paragraphs: If you expect folks to read a paragraph, limit it to no more than ten lines in a document and even fewer in a letter or email.

2. Space between paragraphs: The resulting white space makes a document more inviting.

3. Don’t indent paragraphs: When you space between paragraphs, there is no need to indent. Actually, some fancy writers indent only the first paragraph and that’s okay.

Tips for Lists
1. Do make lists! Lists make your document look more accessible and more organized. You can even make a list under a list under a list! Just indent and align them like you would with an outline.

2. In a list, begin with numbers: If you need several levels of lists, begin with numbers. And tab or indent only twice—not the default five spaces. For a second-level list, use bullets, and for a third level, use hyphens or en dashes. With one short list, bullets work well, but they need to be large enough to make a point: consider bold or a larger size.

3. Indent hierarchical lists: Especially with lists followed by sublists, use the outline format and place subsequent lines under the text above. Don't return to the margin (like I had to do here).

General Tips
1. Use ragged right margins: Justified margins really frustrate me. We read in little fixations—words in a phrase that belong together (“of the people”). So having phrases spaced out makes the reading less smooth.

Editors say they can actually see “rivers of white” in justified text. I think it looks like someone randomly pulled teeth. Interestingly, most professionally produced documents use ragged right margins, at least part of the time, including newspapers, magazines, and brochures. I am waiting for electronic books to move in that direction. I note that the larger the text, the more the words are spaced out. And I’d also like to see large-print books use ragged-right margins.

2. Avoid all caps: Readability experts have observed that all capital letters in a text make it more difficult to read. They lack the irregular “coastline” of upper/lower case. Additionally, they take up more space, thus limiting the font size.

In October of this year, New York City applied this insight to all their street signs. At a cost of $110 per sign, the city began changing street signs from all caps to upper/lower case. With 250,900 signs to deal with, the cost to the state is $27.6 million. Their rationale: the new signs “are easier to read, enabling drivers to spend less time with their eyes averted from the road” and thus save lives.

3. Keep related words on the same line: Happily, with a ragged-right margin, you can cheat a little at the end of a line: you never have to type clear to the end. If a word almost fits, but ends up on the next line, you can move the margin a little to the right and keep the word where it belongs. If a word at the end of the line belongs with the phrase on the next line, just send it there. The more conspicuous the document is—in PowerPoint slides or on a poster—the more important this issue becomes. Below is a quote set in the middle of a column followed by my “fix”:

If we can open your mind to laughter, we can slip in a little information.

If we can open your mind to laughter,
we can slip in a little information.

Cartoon captions are frequently guilty. In an all-caps Marmaduke cartoon, his master asks:

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT BEG-
GING AT THE TABLE?

How many times have I told you
about begging at the table?

4. Use plenty of headings: Yes, I’ve emphasized it before, and you can review this advice is in an earlier blog—“How Readable is Your Document?” Headings provide white space and display organization. They make a document look much more accessible.

5. Attend to the micro stuff: Make “curly” quotation marks and apostrophes your default. For this blog, I had to import what I wanted and copy and paste it each time: Blogspot's only option is to use "Stick" quotes like these. In contrast, you can make the curly kind your default. Additionally, I cannot make em dashes in Blogspot--they remain just two hyphens. However, in Word and most other programs, when you type two hyphens between words without spacing on either side, the hyphens magically turn into an em dash.

Caveat: Friends, it pains me to admit this: in Blogspot, I cannot do all that I suggest in this blog. When I try to do a forced return to put a word on the next line and when I tried to indent to align lists, I created chaos. In fact, an earlier version of this blog was so bad I chose to delete it and begin again. So, it is that old cliche: “Do as I say”—and so will I—in any other circumstance.

Next Time: What About the Passive Voice?

How Readable Is Your Document?

Make it Readable

In business writing (and maybe even for love letters), readability is an important criterion. We are impatient readers, and we don’t want to be impressed, just informed. Below are several tips to make what you write more accessible.

1. Tell the reader in the first paragraph where you are going: “I have analyzed the data and found three reasons for recommending X.” (With an email, use an informative subject line.) 

2. Write short sentences: Limiting sentences to 15 or 20 words, makes for easier reading. I’ve actually gotten lost in sentences that were several times that long.   

3. Use simple words: Words longer than two syllables require more time to process. Compare these: “long words” and “multisyllabic words.” The more time a reader spends processing vocabulary, the less energy is available for processing the meaning of the message.

Note: Readability experts recommend using no more than an eighth-grade vocabulary, regardless of the educational level of your reader. Here’s how you find it: 1) Use the grammar checker. 2) Limit your syllables per word to 1.5 and your words per sentence to 15 or 20. Tip: With instructions, consider using a fifth-grade vocabulary.

4. Repeat key words: If your English teacher encouraged you to use a thesaurus, she was helping your vocabulary, but not your clarity. A better suggestion: Change a word only when you have changed its meaning. Insiders may know that you are playing with synonyms, but your primary audience could well become confused. I once challenged a document that used both “kidney stones” and “renal gravel.” The writer informed me that the terms were synonyms and thought she would “bore the reader” if she repeated the same term. I assured her that if they were my kidney stones, I'd want to keep track of them.

5. Use your own professional voice: Here’s a great test: Read aloud what you have written. If listening to yourself makes you gag or laugh, rewrite it: “Please be advised that we are herewith forwarding, under separate cover. . . . ” Gag, indeed. If you write the way you speak to professional colleagues or an audience, your readers will think you sound natural and friendly—and will trust you more.

6. Use lots of lists: Lists break up the page and tell the reader that you have organized your material. You can even use a list under a list, under a list. Just use the normal outline model to show what fits under what. With instructions, always use lists. (Don’t use a paragraph to tell me how to get to your house.)

7. Use headings: If you plan before you write—jotting down key ideas and their support—you can use an abbreviated form of each key idea as a heading to begin each new section of your document. (Look at the “books for dummies” section of the bookstore. The content may still be tough, but the multiple headings make it look easy.) 

Next time: “But How Does It Look?” 

National Teacher Appreciation Week

Can you read this? Thank a teacher!

This is the week—May 3–7—and now is the time, time to acknowledge and celebrate!

Think back. What gift do you remember from a special teacher: Praise? Training? Comfort? Direction? Even discipline? And then ask yourself, “Does the teacher even know how I benefited from the experience and that I appreciated it?” This week offers you an ideal opportunity to sit down with pen and paper and let the teacher know.
 
Of course, on the Internet, you can find hundreds of canned ways to communicate: buy a card, email a card, copy a poem. However, nothing trumps authenticity.

Saying thank you on paper makes a powerful impact in our telephone, email culture. These simple guidelines will let you create a truly effective letter.

1. Be specific, not merely general, in your celebration or thanks.

Not: You were a wonderful teacher.

Rather: Do you remember when you told me I really had talent and you looked forward to reading about my successes?
 
2. Share how the issue made you feel.

Because you believed in me, I began to believe in myself and envision new possibilities.
 
3. Identify the positive impact on you—immediate or long-term.

I began to work with more purpose and actually began to enjoy studying harder. Looking back, I can see that’s when my self esteem began to increase. And now my dream has come true! I am enclosing an invitation to my first show (or a copy of my book), etc.
 
Of course, the outcome may not be so dramatic, and it could be many little things that you remember and appreciate. If the teacher is still employed, send a copy to the chair of the department, the principal, the dean, etc.

Please believe that your letter will be a “You made my day” event and will be preserved. In fact, you may be surprised how many others hear about it. You’ll be glad you took the time!

Here's a related tip: 
This “recipe” works for all sorts of “good-will” letters: thanks, congratulations, and compliments! They are good-will letters because that is what they will generate for you: lots of good will!

That Tricky Little Apostrophe

No piece of punctuation takes more abuse than the apostrophe. In fact, the popular little book, Eats, Shoots, and Leaves, seems inspired primarily by samples the author has collected of misuse of the apostrophe, mostly by famous people. And they abound!

For fun, here is a brief review highlighting some key areas of concern. You decide: Are these sentences correct or not?
1. Name the mall that rewards it’s customers. (from an ad)
2. Your going to be very surprised.
3. It’s not uncommon to see this error.
3. This is the Smiths’ land.
4. We bring greetings from the Smith’s.
5. This aisle contains apple’s, orange’s, and grape’s.
6. The 1970’s offered many opportunities.
7. The mens’ hats are on that rack.
8. This is Charles’ book.
9. This is Charles’s book 

Don’t use apostrophes in normal plurals—ouch!
“But I thought the teacher said to use an apostrophe with an s.”
• generation’s, cup’s 
• Deliciou’s (from the Apostrophe Protection Society in
   London   
• Chip’s, Sausage’s, Roll’s, Egg’s—from Bennys Cafe (a real    sign)

Use apostrophes with pronoun contractions, but not with possessive pronouns
With pronouns, an apostrophe indicates a contraction, some fairly unusual, but quite acceptable in all but legal language: they’ve, we’re, you’d, she’s, you’re I’m, it’s (a contraction for it is). However, with possessive pronouns, the possession is indicated by the pronoun—never by an apostrophe: ours, his, hers, yours, theirs, its (the possessive form—no apostrophe). In fact, #2 above is one of the most common punctuation errors—and is the reason I included this reminder!

Use apostrophes for clarification
To avoid confusion, an apostrophe is used with single letters and with the plural form of lower case abbreviations: two s’s in the word, three bcc’s, his pj’s. When no confusion would result, no apostrophe is needed: 1970s, CPAs, DVDs. Caution: This does not work for names. If your name is Smith, you can’t get by—either on you mailbox or your holiday greeting—with the Smith’s. If you want to be sure we know your name does not end in s, consider: the Smith Family or John and Mary Smith, or give up and use a simple plural: the Smiths.

Follow these steps for real possessive apostrophes
Here’s my three-step approach for most uses of the possessive apostrophe.
1. Begin with the normal word, singular or plural—who
    owns (possesses) it? the men, some girls, a child.
2. Add an apostrophe: the men’, some girls’, a child’
3. Add an s if there is not one: the men’s, some girls’, a
    child’s
Note that the apostrophe always goes after the normal word: men (I see the men; not I see the mens, so not mens’).
If something is owned jointly, one apostrophe will serve: the cat and the dog’s master. If possession is separate, two apostrophes indicate that: the cats’s and the dog’s food. 

Names cause trouble: Although the same rules apply with names, people get confused. If John Smith owns something, it is John Smith’s. If they are separate owners, it is John’s and Mary’s. If John and Mary Smith own something jointly, it is John and Mary Smith’s, Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s, or the Smiths’.
Here’s a related cause for trouble: words, especially names, ending in s or an s sound: Charles. So, which is right, Charles’ or Charles’s? This is one of those interesting areas where we confront “divided usage”: either could be right. I love the Gregg Reference Manual’s suggestion here: “Listen to yourself.” If you make Charles’ one syllable, then one s will do—and is cleaner. However, if you make it two syllables, you can convey your pronunciation with the additional s. This is true of other words that end in s: if you hear it, add an s: Congress’s task, the witness’s statement.

Here are some answers
1. Name the mall that rewards its customers.
2. You're going to be very surprised.
3. It’s not uncommon to see this error.
3. This is the Smiths’ land.
4. We bring greetings from the Smiths.
5. This aisle contains apples, oranges, and grapes.
6. The 1970s offered many opportunities.
7. The men’s hats are on that rack.
8. This is Charles’ book.
9. This is Charles’s book

There is much more. For further exploration, I suggest the Gregg Reference Manual—my favorite resource. It has many pages—just on the apostrophe!

Happy National [Good] Grammar Day: March 4

Grammar Still Matters to Most Literate Readers
When you are tempted to push the envelope and decide that many traditional grammar “rules” have become irrelevant, beware. If, for example, you choose the traditional all right instead of the more casual alright, no one will notice, even those who choose to use alright. Yet if you use alright, conservative readers will likely wince. Acceptable grammar usage changes slowly, and this is not a movement where you benefit from being in the forefront!

Here's a little quiz where you can identify what might be considered incorrect and then “fix” it: 
1. His goal was to always win.  
2. Richard and him were the last ones hired.
3. The secret must remain with you and I.
4. They gave the gift to John and myself.
5. Accuracy of movement, like accuracy of words, are essential     to the success of magical rites. 
6. Where is he at?
7. We are striving to make the world a better place to live in.   
 
Comments on the Quiz
1. You may recognize to win as an infinitive. Although conservative writers choose never to split one (as I just avoided), many grammarians suggest that you “listen to yourself” and see how it sounds—always a good idea when you write. I don't like the sound of this split infinitive, so I might say, His goal was always to win (or) His goal was to win—always. On the other hand, here is a familiar and wonderful split infinitive: To boldly go . . . .

2. Unfortunately, this pronoun error still creeps into good writing. Fixing it may require separating the parts of the subject: Richard was hired. He was hired (both subject words). Richard and he were hired.

3. This is such an uncomfortable error that it clearly causes listeners to squirm; again, separating the two object words helps clarify: with you, with I. Whoops! With you and (with) me.

4. The pronoun myself cannot stand alone—either as a subject or an object. Use it only after you use I: Ouch, I hurt myself (or) I did it myself.

5. When a phrase is set off from the subject, it must be ignored when choosing the verb to use: Accuracy of movement is essential.

 6. Ending a sentence with a preposition has a bad, and undeserved, reputation because too many people fail to see the difference in a proposition and a verb phrase. Clearly, Where is he at? and Where are you going to? are inappropriate because they are redundant. Where is he? and Where are you going? serve the same purpose.

7. Here, live in is a verb phrase, different from live. I am comfortable with this sentence. Of course, if you want to avoid any question, you could use the somewhat stuffy phrase, in which to live.

I challenge you to consider every day a good grammar day!

What is a Semicolon?

Punctuating Two Cores in One Sentence

Here’s an assertion I encountered when working on my dissertation: Adults rarely use semicolons incorrectly; in fact, they rarely use semicolons! (Still, I have observed some wonderfully creative uses.) However, I am not proposing a greatly increased use of semicolons. What I am suggesting is that there are places where they are useful and places where they are incorrect. You just oughta know which is which—and what your other options are!

Semicolons serve to separate two Cores in one sentence. We’ll get there, but first let’s just consider how and why we might put two Cores together in the first place when they could be two separate sentences:

1. They are logically related.
2. The are parallel.
3. They are short. 

Punctuation Options for Two Cores in One Sentence

1. Cores can be connected with a comma plus and, or, but:
I like coffee, and she likes tea. I like coffee, but she does not.
Notice that the only pause is after coffee. (We’d never pause after but.) And if you know these are coordinate conjunctions, you probably don’t need to read this!

2. Cores can be connected with a semicolon: a “soft period.” This means the Cores, again, could be separate sentences. So, the semicolon requires a Core on each side.
I like coffee; she prefers tea.
Dark chocolate is not just better; it is better for you. Incidentally, don't use a semicolon with and, or, but (except as indicated in # 6 below).

3. Cores can be connected with a qualifying word or phrase: however, moreover, furthermore, on the other hand:
I like coffee; however, she prefers tea.
Although these connectors look like and or but, they are not. Notice that while and and but are stuck between the two cores, these words can move around: I like coffee; she, however, prefers tea. I like coffee; she prefers tea, however. Unfortunately, many writers do not see (or hear) the difference and tend to punctuate them the same. 

Here’s what I often find: I like coffee, however she prefers tea. Whoops, just read the sentence aloud to test it. In fact, this is a sentence with two Cores where the second Core is preceded by the introductory word, however. Without the semicolon, this is a terrible error: a comma splice.

4. The second Core can serve as an explanation for the first Core: They have canceled the event: there is too much snow. Arguing purely from punctuation, one could use a semicolon here (they are both Cores); however, these two sentences don’t just sit side-by-side: in fact, the second explains the first, and only the use of a colon predicts that for the reader (remember “yoo hoo.”)
 
5. Semicolons can serve to separate sets of words in a sentence when the sets contain internal commas: We’re excited to be considering venues in these locations: New York, Monday, April 5; Boston, Monday, April 12; and Baltimore, Tuesday, April 20. (If the list is long or complicated, I'd strongly advise presenting the information in a table.)

6. Commas serve to separate a series of short Cores—usually: I walked the walk, I talked the talk, but I did not fool anyone. However, if one or more of the items in the series contains an insert, it is necessary to separate the items with semicolons: I walked the walk; I talked the talk; but, in fact, I did not fool anyone. (Remember, don’t use commas at two levels in the same sentence.) And, finally, note that when you do use a semicolon after the first Core, you must also do so before the and or but.

I think these guidelines have addressed the key ways to use a semicolon. And I hope they make sense, because their function is really to help you help your reader.